10/15/2015 Part 2: See the Triumph Radio Interview about the Stigma Surrounding Intimate Partner ViolenceSee the Triumph Co-Founder, Christine Murray, returned for a second interview with WSJS Talk Radio in North Carolina to talk about the stigma surrounding intimate partner violence. The focus of this week's interview is on what people can do to help someone who is in an abusive relationship and help to end the stigma surrounding intimate partner violence. To listen to the interview, please download the audio file below.
By Allison Crowe, See the Triumph Co-Founder
This month at See the Triumph, we are focused on the theme, “No Stigma/Only Triumph” and are sharing information and resources to help change the way that society views survivors of IPV -- to a more triumphant, courageous, and positive view rather than some of the negative perceptions that still exist. When we started our campaign in 2013, one of our ultimate goals was to decrease stigma and uplift survivors. We are proud to say that one day at a time, we are reaching our goal. With every new Facebook follower, link to a news story, guest blog, or quote from a survivor in our research study, we are slowly but surely decreasing the stigma that exists. What exactly do we mean by the term, stigma, though? And how does stigma impact survivors? Here is a summary of the term, as well as the types and components of stigma. Stigma has been defined as a product of disgrace that sets a person apart from others. Various types of stigmas exist related to IPV, and some of our most recent research, along with Nicole Overstreet from Clark University, has revealed a Model that includes each of these types: (a) Anticipated Stigma: Expectations that others will react in stigmatizing ways if they find out about stigmatizing identity; refers to people’s belief that others will discriminate against or socially reject them; (b) Internalized Stigma: The extent to which people come to believe and endorse negative and stigmatizing views about themselves (i.e., based on views that are perpetuated in larger community); (c) Enacted Stigma: Perceptions of discrimination and prejudice experienced from others, as well as the extent to which people feel they have been the targets of others’ prejudice (e.g., negative comments, public humiliation, being denied housing, physical threats); (d) Cultural Stigma: Ideologies that delegitimize experiences of IPV (e.g., the belief that IPV victims provoke their own victimization), as well as the ways that negative beliefs and stereotypes about IPV at the societal level influence the experience of IPV stigmatization at individual and interpersonal levels; (e) Perpetrator Stigma: Stigmatizing messages directly from one’s perpetrator, which can include emotionally, verbally, and/or psychologically abusive actions that perpetuate the stigma surrounding IPV. In addition to the types of stigma, we have also studied four main components, or parts, of stigma: blame, isolation, negative emotions, and loss of status. Definitions of these terms are: (a) Blame: Holding survivors responsible for their own abuse; (b) Isolation: Survivors feeling and/or being treated as separated and apart from others as a result of the abuse; (c) Negative Emotions: Shame and other painful emotions felt about oneself, caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcomings, or impropriety. These can result in secrecy (i.e., hiding or concealing the abuse); (d) Loss of Status: Being viewed as “less than” or not as valued or as powerful, or not taken as seriously as others who have not experienced abuse. Taken together, the Model we have developed combines the sources with components of stigma, resulting in 30 unique categories of stigma faced by survivors of IPV. Now that we’ve described this, we want to hear from you. What type(s) of stigmas impact you the most? And what component of the term stigma fits best for your situation? Do our descriptions seem to match your experience, or are there parts of stigma that we might be missing? Help us continue to fight against this stigma by telling us how it applies to you. 10/11/2015 Why DO People Leave Abusive Relationships?By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder
Part of the stigma surrounding intimate partner violence involves the blame that victims face for supposedly making a free choice to stay in an abusive relationship. This blame can come from many directions, including the abuser, friends and family members, professionals from whom victims reach out to for help, and cultural stereotypes. More evidence of this blame can be found in the countless articles written on the subject on “Why do people stay in abusive relationships?” For examples, check out the some of the following from Huffington Post, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s Web, and the Richland Source. These articles are important for helping people understand that the decision to remain in an abusive relationship is complex, and in many cases, it may feel like the safest decision for a victim at that time. It’s important for everyone to stand that leaving an abusive relationship isn’t an easy process, and in fact leaving may be more dangerous than staying, at least in the short term. It’s important that we ask other questions, too, especially to help eradicate the stigma that surrounds intimate partner violence. Recently, Allison and I worked with a colleague, Paulina Flasch, to ask a different question. We were interested in learning when and why people actually DO leave abusive relationships. To learn about the decisions that lead people to decide to leave, we drew upon the stories of 123 survivors of past abusive relationships, all of whom had been out of any abusive relationships for at least two years.* In our study, we learned about turning points, which are defined as the critical incidents or series of incidents that prompted survivors to begin the process of leaving their relationships. It’s important to note that these turning points didn’t always lead immediately to the end of the relationship--the planning and implementation of that process can take some time, especially if there’s a safety plan in place and the survivor needed time to build up the resources to be able to leave, once and for all. This research resulted in the identification of six specific types of turning points that prompted survivors to begin moving toward leaving their abusive relationships. A brief description of each one, along with a quote from a survivor that illustrates each turning point, it provided below: 1. Facing the threat of severe violence For some survivors, turning points happened when they realized they faced the risk of extremely severe violence, potentially even death. As one survivor said, “The turning point for me was waking up with a bruise on my neck, and even though at the time, I did not remember what happened, I knew then that my husband had tried to kill me.” 2. Changing their perspective about the relationship, abuse, and/or their partner Some people experienced turning points when they had changes in the way they viewed their relationships or their partners. These changes then led them to new realizations about the nature of their relationships, and these cognitive changes led to behavioral changes. One participant who experienced this type of turning point said, “He had isolated me from my friends, but one day, I went out with them anyway and was shocked at how nicely everyone treated me and that made me realize how cruel he was to me.” 3. Learning about the dynamics of abuse Turning points also may happen as survivors learn about the dynamics of abuse, which can then help them to see their own relationships as abusive and unsafe. For example, consider the following statement from a survivor who participated in our research: “I also have a friend who works as a crime scene investigator, and she helped me understand the pattern of escalation that my partner was following and the risks I faced by staying in the relationship.” 4. Experiencing an intervention from external sources or consequences Some survivors experienced turning points when other people or external consequences helped them realize that the abuse was wrong, such as if their abuser was arrested. Another example of this type of turning point can be seen in the following participant quote: “‘‘The second biggest influence was my Christian counselor who told me that it was okay for me to divorce. For me, I needed social support and affirmation from members of the Christian community that seeking a divorce was okay and that God didn’t want me to futilely suffer.’ 5. Realizing the impact of the violence on children For some survivors, turning points arise when they realize the negative ways their children are being impacted by the abuse. As one survivor in our study said, “‘‘The turning point for me was when I had my first child. It wasn’t enough for me to leave when he was abusive to me, but after my daughter was born, I felt like he was disrespecting her too and I would not stand for that.’’ 6. The relationship being terminated by the abuser or some other cause Finally, in some cases, turning points occurred when their abusive partners ended their relationships or there was some other external reason that the relationship ended, such as their partner dying. For example, one survivor said, ‘‘My turning point was when my ex-boyfriend left me for another woman.” Although this last category of turning points may seem more passive on the part of the survivor, in that it was their abuser that took action to end the relationship or some other external cause ended the relationship, it’s important to highlight the survivors’ agency after the relationships ended, in that they did not return to that or any other abusive relationship after the relationship ended. There were a small number of additional participants in our research who shared that there wasn’t a specific turning point that they could identify. In most of these cases, participants described more of a long-term process of deciding to end the relationship, rather than any identifiable turning points. Why are these turning points important to understand? For one, they challenge the question of why people stay in abusive relationships. That question implies that people stay forever and don’t leave. What we heard from the survivors in our research was very much in contrast to that assumption. Often, people in abusive relationships do realize their relationships are unsafe and would like for the relationships to end, or at least for the violence to stop, but it just may take time for enough evidence to arise before the person makes the ultimate decision to end the relationship. And, even after that decision has been made, they may not leave immediately, especially if their safety is at risk if they do so. This information about turning points also highlights that different factors impact people differently within an abusive relationship. For some people, deciding to end an abusive relationship begins as an internal cognitive shift in how they think about the relationship, and then behavioral changes follow. For others, external consequences--such as intervention from law enforcement--start the process. Still others may be more impacted by how the abuse affects their children, and this can be especially true of they originally were staying in the relationship because they thought that keeping the relationship intact would be the best arrangement for the children. The process of deciding to leave an abusive relationship looks different for every person, and it’s important for people to support survivors in their own unique process. The most important takeaway from these turning points, however, is simply the reminder that they provide that people DO leave abusive relationships. All of the participants in our research--over 500 survivors by now!--had been out of any abusive relationships for a significant period of time, and this fact alone challenges the common stereotype that people are destined to repeat patterns of victimization. As we continue our focus this month on the theme of No Stigma/Only Triumph, let’s honor the courage and strength involved in survivors’ experiences of these turning points. It is no easy task to leave an abusive relationship, and survivors’ willingness to step bravely into these turning points and begin moving toward safety is a testament to their ability to triumph over abuse. * Reference: Murray, C. E., Crowe, A., & Flasch, P. (2015). Turning points: Critical incidents prompting survivors to begin the process of terminating abusive relationships. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 23, 228-238. DOI: 10.1177/1066480715573705 (Note: All quotes found in this blog post also can be found in this research article, along with other quotes and more detailed descriptions of the turning points discussed here.) 10/10/2015 Survivors of IPV as AdvocatesBy Allison Crowe, See the Triumph Co-Founder
For our October series of No Stigma, Only Triumph, I have been thinking a lot about advocacy, and its role in eliminating the stigma that still surrounds IPV. I think it’s a difficult topic in many ways, as perhaps it’s unclear how to be an advocate, what an advocate is, and the types of advocacy one can engage in. Through our research, however, one finding that has really stood out was how you out there really see yourselves as advocates. We were so touched by reading about your efforts, we highlighted these stories in an article entitled, Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence as Advocates for Social Change. With two other authors, we shared many of your advocacy activities, quotes, and examples so that we could help re-envision survivors as advocates and leaders in the movement for social change. Here I wanted to highlight some of the quotes from this article, and offer anyone who’d like to read the full article access to it http://www.psysr.org/jsacp/murray-v7n1-2015_84-100.pdf You said this about why you advocate:
You said this about what it means to be a survivor and advocate:
You said this about knowing whether you were ready to be an advocate:
You do large-scale advocacy efforts:
You do small-scale advocacy efforts:
Thanks, as always, for reading and supporting our work, and for all of you who shared your thoughts for this article, a special thank you to you! This week, See the Triumph Co-Founder, Christine Murray, sat down for an interview with WSJS Talk Radio in North Carolina to talk about the stigma surrounding intimate partner violence. To listen to the interviews, please download the audio files below. Thanks to WSJS for bringing attention to the issue of domestic violence during Domestic Violence Awareness Month!
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