Blog Archives

Five ways to help someone who is being abused

3/27/2013

Many people struggle to know what to do when someone they know is being abused. There are no easy answers, to be sure. The following five suggestions are a good place to start.

Domestic Violence and Isolation

3/26/2013

Many domestic violence survivors felt extremely isolated during their abuse, and even after it. Today we’re sharing some of the survivors’ own words about how they experienced this isolation.

“I blame my partner for the emotional issues I deal with today… I tend to isolate myself at times from the world.”
“I believe that people will judge you, because they want to distance themselves from you. People will, even when being supportive and truly caring, still need to see you as an ‘other’ so that they can convince themselves that they wouldn't ever get into a relationship like you did.”
“I think this [isolation] applies to most abuse victims; one of the first things the abuser does is to isolate you from those who care about you… I felt labeled as trash at the times that ‘outsiders’ witnessed my abuse and didn't help.”

In light of this isolation, it is important that supportive resources, organizations, and social networks be available to help survivors feel connected with others and overcome feelings of being alone.

"The start of the rest of your life"

3/25/2013

"I long for the day that I trust myself again"

3/25/2013

"I knew what he was doing was wrong"

3/22/2013

"I've started to think about myself as a stronger person"

3/20/2013

The long-term impact of domestic violence

3/19/2013

The overwhelming message we heard from survivors in our studies was that they had triumphed over their abuse and felt that their lives were in a better place after they left the abusive relationships. However, many survivors continued to struggle with the long-term effects of their abuse. This is illustrated in the following quotes:

“It was necessary to leave [the relationship] for my own mental health, so that I could be a good mother to my son, but the effects of becoming a poor, single mother will last for many more years.”
“Victimization doesn't end when a relationship ends. Just like a major earthquake, there are many aftershocks even years after.”
“This relationship lasted only about 2 years, but its scars in my mind and heart are permanent.”
“Very sad for me and hard to tell my story after all these years.

We believe these long-term effects underscore the importance of increased prevention efforts to stop domestic violence before it ever occurs and to provide support as early as possible.

There is always a light

3/18/2013

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"IPV is ugly"