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10/20/2014 0 Comments

"Educate and Support My Children"

9/22/2014

College As One Possible Stepping Stone For Overcoming Past Abuse

By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder

All this month, we’re focusing on how colleges and universities can become non-stigmatizing environments for survivors of intimate partner violence and other forms of abuse. Recently, there has been a lot of media attention to the issue of sexual assault on college campuses, especially how victims are often blamed and face significant barriers when they come forward to report their abuse. These news stories call attention to the significant stigma that often surrounds abuse and assault on many college campuses, and this stigma is one of the main reasons we are focusing on this topic this month.

However, there’s another important reason why we are so concerned about the climate on college campuses for survivors of abuse, and it stems from the findings of our research with survivors of past abusive relationships. One of the issues we’ve focused on learning about in our research is how people overcome past experiences of abuse and move forward into peaceful, nonviolent lives and relationships. A theme we heard from so many participants in our research was that attending and completing college was a major stepping stone for their own process of overcoming the past abuse in their lives.

Of course, we don’t want to convey that college or university studies are the only way people can overcome past abuse. Many survivors had already completed their highest levels of education before they experienced abuse. Still others find other paths to overcoming past abuse, such as by pursuing other career paths, finding support from other people in their lives, or seeking counseling--and any particular path may be the right direction for each person. College may or may not be a part of that equation.

However, there are many reasons why college and university studies can play an important role in helping survivors overcome past abuse, and many of these reasons are illustrated by quotes from participants on our research.

First, a college education can provide survivors with tools and qualifications that help them achieve financial independence and career success. For example, consider the following quotes from participants in our research:

“My husband and I separated for the last time that year, I ended up on welfare temporarily, went to college, got my degree, sent welfare a thank you note and went to work!”
“I am in college and raising my children on my own. My goal is to be the sole provider for my children and prove to them all of their dreams can come true and we can do it on our own. I...want to inspire victims to become survivors. So my education will be used to advocate for women and children and hopefully start my non-profit to make a positive change in our community, even though I am told it will never change.”
“I went from a pregnant 16 old year wife that dropped out of high school and became a victim of domestic violence to a independant 38 year old woman with a college degree.”
“After the birth of my second son, I entered university at age 30 and graduated in four years with a double major and a minor...I never thought any of these things would be possible for me. Each success, no matter how small, is a step in the journey of healing and acceptance.”

Second, through college coursework, survivors can learn critical thinking skills and information about abuse that empowers them and helps them understand their experiences in a new light. For example, one research participant said, “I wrote my senior (undergraduate) thesis on stigma surrounding sexual violence in an attempt to better understand that stigma and potentially be able to fight against it.” Another survivor shared the following insights: “What really opened my eyes and I guess could be considered my ‘turning point’ was when I started taking religion classes in college. When I was able to get to a point where I could see the Bible as being inspired by God, but also made by man and open to human error through transcription, translation, and interpretation, I was able to let go of the rigid dichotomies of fully good and fully evil. I could see that there was gray area. I could see that God was loving and not hateful of me.”

Third, many survivors in our research noted that attending college was one part of their overall journeys to overcoming their past abuse. Examples of statements reflecting this theme are as follows:

“I had to change EVERYTHING! I went from being a pampered well-to-do country club mom to a working mother with no money, no time, and no education. And you know what, I don't miss that old life. Because I currently work and just finished my second year of college I do miss all of the time I had back then, but my life today is a beautiful gift from God.”
“College education (studying sociology and religious studies)-Absolutely the number 1 thing that helped me overcome and is continuing to help me overcome.”
“I started thinking about college. I researched family housing at [the college]. I considered a degree in teaching and completed the paperwork to enroll that fall. I was accepted and was excited about the idea of going to college...The spark was ignited in my soul and I enrolled in Community College for a few classes. I remember my first psychology class well...I was fascinated by psychology and human behavior but was at a point in my life where I needed some skills in order to be able to leave [my abuser] and survive...Sometimes I would take my [kids] with me to classes or to the computer lab..They would color on the floor while I did my homework on the computers.”
“Therapy, prayers, and the university study.”

Fourth, the social and academic opportunities and challenges available in the college environment can help survivors gain new self-awareness and feel more empowered. One survivor in our research said, “My moment came when going to college at the age of 40 and having to do a speech, I decided on domestic violence, I told my story to my classmates, I broke down at the end of the speech and felt as though a weight had been lifted.” Another said, “I went back to college, and I found me!”

Ultimately, there are so many possible benefits that survivors can achieve by furthering their education as part of their process of overcoming past abuse. Because of this, we believe that colleges and universities have a valuable and unique opportunity to help support survivors in achieving financial independence, career success, enhanced self-awareness, and greater knowledge about common dynamics involved in both healthy and unsafe relationships. Colleges can choose to intentionally embrace these opportunities and help foster supportive environments for survivors. In so doing, they can both serve their educational missions and help survivors and others who’ve faced traumatic events to take meaningful, life-changing steps toward safety and empowerment.

8/25/2014

"They Have No Right"

8/20/2014

"I want to be the one to define what that means"

8/8/2014

"I have become an active voice"

8/5/2014

Thank You For Sharing Your Stories: A Note To Those Who Have Participated In Our Research Studies

By Christine Murray and Allison Crowe, See the Triumph Co-Founders

As we’ve been working on this month’s theme of “Every Survivor Has a Story,” we’ve been going back through the stories of the survivors who participated in our research, including our original research studies and the current study we’re conducting now. It’s been a powerful reminder of how so many survivors have entrusted us with their deeply personal stories of experiencing and overcoming abuse. Between all of our studies, we've heard from hundreds of survivors by now, and we are thankful for each and every one of you.

As researchers, it’s not often that we pause to express deep gratitude to participants in our studies. However, we want to take time to do that today, to let anyone who has participated in one of our interviews and/or surveys just how much we appreciate the time and insights you shared with us.

Nearly all of our research has been collected anonymously, and this was done to protect participants’ confidentiality and to ensure that people can feel free to share openly without needing to disclose their identities. This is important to the methodology of our research, but it does mean that we aren’t able to reach out individually to participants to thank them for being part of our research. So, we hope by expressing our gratitude here, we will reach at least some of the many people who have so graciously shared their stories with us.

And so, to those who have shared your stories with us through our research, we want to say thank you:

Thank you for entrusting us with your stories, even though sharing them likely meant revisiting painful memories and experiences that almost certainly would be easier to avoid revisiting.
Thank you for sharing with us how deeply your own experiences have motivated you to want to help others. We feel a deep sense of responsibility to use the stories and insights you shared to help inspire and educate others. That’s the driving force behind See the Triumph: To ensure that your insights and experiences can help others.
Thank you for your honesty. The stories you’ve shared have been at times heartwarming, heartbreaking, inspiring, unsettling, and even shocking. We appreciate that you’ve trusted us enough to share the truth, even when it isn’t “pretty.”

It is truly such an honor for you to have shared your stories with us. We hope that our efforts through See the Triumph play some part in harnessing the power of your stories for creating the social change needed to end abuse and the stigma surrounding it, as well as supporting other survivors. Please know that, by sharing your stories with us, you have certainly inspired us, and we know that you are inspiring others as well.

With sincerest thanks,

Christine & Allison

PS--Please remember that study participants’ anonymity and confidentiality are still important to us, and we ask anyone who may have participated in our research to not publicly identify themselves as such here on our blog or through our social media channels.

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"Today I am Fighting Back"

"I am independent as hell"

"Educate and Support My Children"

"To Challenge Assumptions"

"Went On To Counsel Others"

College As One Possible Stepping Stone For Overcoming Past Abuse

"They Have No Right"

"I want to be the one to define what that means"

"I have become an active voice"

Thank You For Sharing Your Stories: A Note To Those Who Have Participated In Our Research Studies

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