Blame and Stigma

A key component of stigma is blame. Victim-blaming occurs when people view victims as responsible for the abuse they experienced and do not hold their perpetrators fully accountable for their actions. Many participants in our study felt blamed by others, as is illustrated in the following quotes:

• “I experienced blame by others stating that staying was my fault or that my not ‘fighting back’ somehow made me responsible. I feel that each time I disclose that I am an IPV survivor I am labeled in some way either as a victim, a survivor, stupid, etc…”
• “My family, although completely supportive of me when I was leaving both abusive relationships, have frequently questioned my ‘taste in men’ and felt that I am attracted to cruel men. They have always believed me about the abuse, and also supported me in leaving, but there is a feeling of blame that I got into the relationships in the first place.”
• “There is a stereotype for girls and women who are in these types of relationships. People always assume it's the woman's fault because she stays. They also look at you like you're a loser, a piece of trash. I've heard so many people say (when they're unaware I have been there) that these women deserve what they get because they stay. They MUST like the abuse because they stick around. Ignorance.”
• “My family supported me in leaving the relationship but also blamed me for becoming involved with this man to start with. Some people, upon learning about the relationship, began to treat me as though I had asked to be abused.”
• “No one ever really did anything to try and get me away from him. I don't know if maybe they just didn't realize that a 16 year old can't make adult decisions. I felt that since there WERE certain people that knew, and yet no one helped me… that they MUST think it was my fault.”
• “I worry that people will think I'm a slut, that I'm passive, that I ‘asked for it’.

How do you think these victim-blaming attitudes contribute to the challenges survivors face in overcoming their abuse?