7/20/2014 Surviving Abuse - Why We Do What We DoToday's guest blog comes from some really powerful advocates for supporting survivors of abuse, the team at Surviving Abuse. We are thankful to them for the work they are doing, and for sharing their story here!
************************************************* All of the admins at Surviving Abuse are survivors. We all know what it's like to be abused, most of us by long-term partners or spouses. We have also experienced abuse growing up in several cases. We know what it's like to feel alone with the abuse. We know what a relief it is the first time you hear someone else say they've been there too. And we feel no one deserves to suffer, but more than that, no one deserves to feel like they are the only one to have that experience. I have lost count of the messages we've received from people saying that our page has given them hope. And the ones saying that our posts helped them gather the courage to leave their abuser. Every time we get one of those messages, we celebrate, because we know that we have made a difference. Yes, we have a large number of people following our page, but it has never been about the numbers for any of us. The only reason the number matters is because that is how many people we have the potential to reach with our message. I have said on many occasions that I love what I do, I hate only that it is necessary. However, for as long as it is necessary, I will continue to do it with love. And I feel confident in saying that the other admins feel the same way. For those who wish to become warriors in this fight against abuse, some things you can do are support the shelters in your area. They are all almost always in need of pretty much everything, because most of the time the people coming into shelter left with only the clothes on their backs. So things like hygiene items, clothing, and paper goods are in high demand. Some shelters are able to accommodate pets in addition to people, which is a wonderful thing, as many people are afraid to leave their abuser because they don't want to leave their pets behind. Those shelters often need pet food and other pet supplies. Contact the shelters in your area, and find out what their specific needs are. Learn what the laws are in your city and state or country. Many of them are inadequate, especially with how much technology has advanced. Cyber stalking is not considered a crime in most states, and as such, is not grounds for a restraining order or an order of protection. Yet, it is a major source of fear, and is often a precursor to an act of violence. If someone comes to you and says they are being abused, believe them and don't blame them. Help them research what their options are, as many times abusers will monitor usage of the internet and phones. If you are able to, offer them a safe place to stay in case of an emergency. Support them in any way you are capable and comfortable doing. And if you should see or hear someone being abused, do something or say something. If you are not comfortable getting directly involved (which is completely understandable), call the police. Do *something*. We cannot afford to have the attitude of "It's not my business." Until everyone believes that abuse IS their business, true changes will not take place. -------------------------------------------- Surviving Abuse is a team of sixteen admins, all of whom contribute to the page as we are able. Most of us are involved in more than one abuse oriented page and/or project. At least two of us are going to school in order to get licenses and degrees that will allow us to work with survivors and victims as actual jobs that will pay us. Surviving Abuse and all the other pages we are passionate about are volunteer projects that we do for one very simple reason. We care. By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder
In our original research that led us to begin the See the Triumph campaign, some participants described how they were motivated to use their past experiences with abuse to become an advocate to helping others who have been abused. As we’re addressing throughout our series this month, being an advocate means different things to different people, and it could come in the form of paid and/or volunteer work with victims/survivors of domestic violence, providing support through a community or religious organization, writing letters to the editor, speaking about their experiences with others in the community, and other formal and informal forms of advocacy. We’ve recently been collecting data for a new study, and one of the questions we’ve asked participants is, “To what extent do you view yourself as an advocate?” So far, we’ve gotten some really great and insightful responses to that question, and in a series of blog posts over the coming weeks, we’ll share some of the initial feedback we’ve received from the participants who’ve completed the survey so far. Today, I’ll highlight the important and valuable voice that survivors bring to advocacy work to address intimate partner violence (IPV). Now, I believe strongly that everyone can be an advocate to raise awareness about IPV and the stigma that surrounds it, provide support to survivors, and hold offenders accountable. Ideally, every person in the would get behind this cause, whether or not they have any personal experience with abuse. I believe that all should be welcomed to this important table. However, survivors’ voices, experiences, and perspectives are especially important to advocacy efforts to address IPV at both the individual and societal levels. Of course, nobody should be forced to share their story, either publicly or anonymously, unless they feel completely comfortable and safe in doing so. I’ll address the importance of survivors choosing whether or not to engage in advocacy work in the next blog post in this series. When survivors share their stories as part of advocacy efforts, they bring a powerful voice and important perspective that can both help to educate the general public and provide support and inspiration to survivors. The following quotes from participants in our research--all survivors who had been out of any abusive relationships for at least two years--demonstrate the importance of this perspective:
Survivors’ stories provide powerful reminders of the horrific abuse that many people experience, and yet they also illustrate the triumph and strength that people show when they overcome abuse. Therefore, advocacy efforts to address IPV should honor survivors’ lived experiences, as these are at the core of the reasons why advocacy work is so important. |
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