By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder
We learned a lot from the participants in our research about the many ways that people can share their stories. We want to emphasize that there is no one “right way” to do this. Your story is your own, and you should only tell it in ways that are comfortable, safe, and meaningful for you. For some people, this means speaking publicly about past experiences with abuse. However, there are many reasons why a person may not want to do this, and those reasons are valid--especially when safety risks are involved. There are many other ways that people can tell their own stories that may or may not involve sharing with anyone else. Following are a few examples of the various ways that participants shared with us that they told their stories. One of the most personal ways to tell one’s story is through writing it down, such as through keeping a journal. One participant said, “I mentioned before that I am a writer. Writing about the experiences has helped me process them...Processing the abuse in my own time has allowed me to understand that it was not my fault and allowed me to personally overcome the stigma of abuse in my own mind.” Other people may find it empowering and helpful to tell their stories to people who are close in their lives, or in a confidential setting like counseling. For example, consider the following quotes:
For some, speaking publicly is an empowering way to have their story help educate others. Here are some great examples of this from participants in our research:
Of course, regardless of how or when survivors tell their story, it’s important for them to be the one to make these choices. Some of the participants in our research emphasized the importance of sharing when the moment is right:
By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder
This month’s focus on “Every Survivor Has a Story” has been an especially meaningful one for us at See the Triumph. The stories we heard from the survivors of intimate partner violence who participated in our research are really what drove us to start See the Triumph in the first place, as we knew that these stories were important ones that needed to be told. As this month draws to a close, I’ll share some additional quotes from survivors in our research that highlight both the power of telling one’s story today, and on Thursday, I’ll address the importance of people finding their own unique ways to do so, either privately or publicly. One of the main themes we heard from research participants was that telling their story helped play a role in their healing from the effects of the abuse the experienced. For example, one participant said, “Just sharing my story has been cathartic. It has been important for me to tell others that abuse is not just physical; most abuse is actually emotional. Emotional abuse is also something important to recognize.” Another said, “I'm still struggling a lot with my past abuse. But talking about it feels so good. It takes some of that emotional weight & anxiety off my chest.” We also heard from several participants that talking about their stories helped them to overcome stigma and empower themselves. Consider, for example, the following quotes:
Indeed, there is power in telling one’s story. Stories hold the potential for healing, for overcoming, and for educating others. Let’s continue to work together so that survivors’ stories are honored and heard! 8/23/2014 Day 23: A Story of Finding Peace “Basically I just learned to love myself and see myself as a survivor and strong instead of a victim and weak. I really embraced my past experiences, both good and bad, and came to an understanding that they have made me who I am today. I am also an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse and through therapy and self-reflection I have come to understand how my abusive relationship was tied to the unresolved feelings I had about that. Now I just look back and think about all life has thrown my way and how I'm still standing and going strong and I have a great husband and a wonderful child and the life I always wanted. I feel blessed and strong and I am not stigmatized anymore. I have no problem telling people about my past experiences with abuse because I am no longer ashamed of the incidents, I don't let the abuse define me.” ~ Domestic violence survivor
8/21/2014 Day 21: A Story of Peace “I finally started sharing my experience with other people. I am no longer afraid that my ex-husband will find out & hurt me. It's taken me years to get to this point but it's a major relief! Just sharing on this website gives me a huge sense of empowerment. I've also learned I’m not alone & can lean on others for support. I’m loved for the first time in my life and it's a wonderful feeling!!!!!” ~ Domestic violence survivor
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