See the Triumph
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Blog
  • See the Triumph Collections
  • Participate in Our Research
  • Volunteer with See the Triumph
  • The Origins of See the Triumph
  • About our Research
  • Terms of Use
  • Resources for more Information
  • See the Triumph Workbooks
  • See the Triumph Healing Arts Workshops
  • See the Triumph Survivor Advocacy Training Program
  • Contact Us

Counseling and Self-Care

12/4/2014

 
Picture
By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder

As a professor in a counseling program, I am a strong believer in the power of counseling to help people heal from past abuse, along with addressing a variety of other mental health, life, and relationship challenges they may face. According to the American Counseling Association, counseling is defined as “a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families, and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education, and career goals.” Therefore, counseling offers many potential benefits to survivors of abuse and others whose lives are touched by domestic violence to both help address problems that arise related to the abuse and promote their future health and wellness.

Seeking counseling can be an important part of self-care for survivors of abuse, as well as for professionals who work with them and others in their support networks. Some of the reasons that people affected by domestic violence may seek counseling include the following:
  • Mental health symptoms
  • Relationship challenges
  • Burnout and vicarious trauma
  • Career or educational problems
  • Parenting concerns
  • Family-of-origin dynamics

Of course, there are many other reasons why people may seek counseling, and counselors are trained to support clients as they face a wide range of life challenges.

For survivors of abuse, it is especially important to seek out a counselor who is competent to understand and address the dynamics of domestic violence, as I’ve written about in this past blog post: http://www.seethetriumph.org/blog/finding-a-counselor-who-is-competent-to-serve-survivors. From our research with survivors, we heard from some participants about problems they encountered from counselors who lacked this competence. For example, one participant said, “The therapist I was seeing during the abusive relationship didn't identify what was happening as abusive.  He told me I was ‘triggering’ my ex's controlling behavior and sexual assaults, and encouraged me to focus on my own ‘contributions’ to the problem rather than find ways to stay safe.  He also referred the two of us for couple's counseling, which also reinforced the idea that I was partially responsible for my ex's abusive behavior.”

When I hear stories of negative counseling experiences like that one, I’m deeply troubled that some people don’t find the support and help they need when they seek counseling. And, I’m reminded of the importance of clients being very careful in the process of selecting a suitable counselor. If you don’t find a helpful counselor on your first attempt, keep looking! It’s important to find a counselor who you feel comfortable with so that you’ll be able to address the most important issues that you’re facing.

Fortunately, the overwhelming majority of our research participants who mentioned counseling as part of their healing process reported positive experiences. The following quotes from survivors who participated in our research support the value of counseling for survivors as part of their overall self-care practices:
  • “I sought counseling numerous times surrounding the effects of the abuse on my self worth.”
  • “I sought out domestic violence counseling and remained in group therapy for over a year.  I sought out EMDR to help with the PTSD.  I remain in EMDR therapy to this day.”
  • “Let go of childhood issues, get counseling, do what it takes, it's okay to admit we have issues.   Everyone has issues, what's not okay is allowing someone to control us!”
  • “Through lots of hard work on self and counseling and lots of fear of being alone…anyone can make it through.”
  • “Don't go through this alone.  Get help from the domestic violence agency near you.  Get counseling and get on with living your life.”
  • “The therapist I am seeing now has been very helpful at undoing a lot of the shame and self-blame.”
  • “I went to therapy and joined an online support board. I connected with other survivors and began to learn that I had nothing to be ashamed of and I did not have responsibility for being abused.”
  • “I began seeing a counselor. I began taking an SSRI to help with the depression and panic attacks...I am more open about the fact that I'm on medication and seeing a psychologist, even if I don't give specifics.”

These quotes represent just some of the ways that counseling can be an important part of an overall self-care plan for survivors and others who support them. There is no need for shame in reaching out for help from a trained mental health professional. If you are interested in finding a counselor, there are resources available to help you do so. In addition to asking for recommendations from your local domestic violence agency or from people in your social network, some resources for locating a counselor in your area are as follows:
  • Counselor Find (Hosted by the National Board for Certified Counselors)
  • Therapist Locator (Hosted by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy)
  • The Therapy Directory (Hosted by Psychology Today)


Comments are closed.

    Archives

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    About Intimate Partner Violence
    About Intimate Partner Violence
    Advocacy
    Ambassadors
    Children
    Churches
    College Campuses
    Cultural Issues
    Domestic Violence Awareness Month
    Financial Recovery
    How To Help A Friend
    Human Rights
    Human-rights
    Immigrants
    International
    Media
    Overcoming Past Abuse
    Overcoming-past-abuse
    Parenting
    Prevention
    Resources For Survivors
    Safe Relationships Following Abuse
    Schools
    Selfcare
    Self-care
    Sexual Assault
    Sexuality
    Social Justice
    Social-justice
    Stigma
    Supporting Survivors
    Survivor Quotes
    Survivor-quotes
    Survivor Stories
    Teen Dating Violence
    Trafficking
    Transformative-approaches

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Blog
  • See the Triumph Collections
  • Participate in Our Research
  • Volunteer with See the Triumph
  • The Origins of See the Triumph
  • About our Research
  • Terms of Use
  • Resources for more Information
  • See the Triumph Workbooks
  • See the Triumph Healing Arts Workshops
  • See the Triumph Survivor Advocacy Training Program
  • Contact Us