Embracing the Advocacy Role...Or Not

By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder

A few days ago, I wrote about the unique, and important, role that survivors can play in advocacy work to address intimate partner violence (IPV). As important as this role is, I want to emphasize that it should always be up to each individual survivor to choose whether or not to engage in this sort of work at any given point in time. Survivors need not feel any pressure--either from themselves or from others around them--to take on advocacy work.

We’ve learned from survivors in our ongoing study on overcoming abuse that there are many reasons why people may choose not to take on advocacy work, and any and of these reasons--even simply that they do not want to do it--are valid and worthy of honoring.

We heard from several participants in our research about some of the reasons they did not want to take on advocacy work.

For example, some felt that it wouldn’t be a good match for their skills:

• “I enjoy helping others but I do not believe I would be an effective advocate.”
  
  

Others could see this type of role in the future, but they did not feel yet that they were ready for it, or they have only recently begun to think about this possibility:

• “I do not feel I am yet strong enough to be an advocate.  Maybe in time, but not yet.”
  
• “I don't think I ever was ready to take on that role until now.”
  
• “Not an advocate yet. May be one in the future.”
  
  

Still others could identify with some aspects of advocacy work, but not others:

• “I view myself as a political advocate, but would not be comfortable working with individuals.”
  
  

Some survivors expressed concern that engaging in advocacy efforts would be too emotionally triggering or challenging for them:

• “I would love to be an advocate, but I know I need to be able to hear others stories without triggering myself. I feel closer, but not quite there.”
  
• “I feel too powerfully others pain and it hurts me.”
  
  

And, again, some study participants said they simply weren’t interested in advocacy work:

• “I do not want to be an advocate.”
  
  

When survivors are interested in taking on advocacy work, whether formally in their work or informally as a support to others, their efforts should be supported and honored. However, it’s also important to honor survivors who choose not to take this on.

This is one of the reasons that we would love to see all people consider if and how they can help advocate to end the abuse and support survivors--regardless of whether they have any personal experience with IPV or not. With IPV, we’re facing a massive social problem that has been entrenched into cultures for generations and generations. The more voices that join this cause, the more powerful a message they can send together. However, it is important to honor survivors’ choice whether to join their voices with larger advocacy efforts.