See the Triumph
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Blog
  • See the Triumph Collections
  • Participate in Our Research
  • Volunteer with See the Triumph
  • The Origins of See the Triumph
  • About our Research
  • Terms of Use
  • Resources for more Information
  • See the Triumph Workbooks
  • See the Triumph Healing Arts Workshops
  • See the Triumph Survivor Advocacy Training Program
  • Contact Us

Providing Support Through All Stages of Domestic Violence

8/4/2015

 
By Heather Teater, See the Triumph Contributor

When someone shares that they are experiencing domestic violence, it can be easy to assume that they are ready to leave their violent relationship and fervently start thinking of ways help them get out.  If, however, we hear that they are not yet ready to leave the relationship, sometimes our enthusiasm to help falters.  We can get so caught up in trying to convince them to leave or judging them for making “poor choices” that we forget that this is a crucial time for us to be supportive.  In fact, it is important for us to be willing to support survivors of domestic violence no matter where they are – in the relationship, leaving the relationship, or out of the relationship.  There are other great posts regarding supporting survivors that you can read, so I won’t go into great detail, but here are just a few ways that survivors in all stages of DV may need your support:

There are many reasons that one might be unable or unwilling to leave a violent relationship for the time-being.  While it may be tempting to spend all of our energy giving them a million reasons why they need to get out of their abusive situation, those who are in a violent relationship need to be the ones who decide to leave, and our efforts can be better-spent in other ways.  For example, you might be a part of your friend’s safety plan and provide a safe haven when things get difficult.  Perhaps they need someone who is willing to watch their children for an evening to keep them out of harm’s way.  Or maybe they just need someone who knows about their situation and can check in with them on a regular basis.

Those who are in the process of leaving an abusive relationship need support in both obvious and not-so-obvious ways.  They may need practical support, such as a vehicle to help them move some of their belongings or a place to stay while they determine their next steps.  They may also need help navigating the process of taking legal action to gain custody of their children or to keep their ex-partner from harassing them further.  They, too, may simply need emotional support as they deal with the transition of starting a new life.

Once survivors have left a violent relationship and appear to be out of harm’s way, sometimes we forget that they still need support.  But the effects of domestic violence remain well past the last violent incident.  Survivors of DV may still need practical and emotional support long after we may think they should be “over it.” They could need help rebuilding their support system.  They might need help determining red flags for future romantic relationships.  And, yes, they may need help healing emotionally as well.

When offering support to someone who is experiencing or has experienced domestic violence, it is important to offer the support with no strings attached (e.g. “I’ll only help you if…” or “Once you leave, then…”).  Whether they have decided to stay in the relationship, are trying to get out, or have already left, survivors of domestic violence need us to be willing to support them in whatever ways we can.  Remember that everyone’s experience of domestic violence is different, and the best thing you can do is simply ask how you can help and follow through, no matter their situation.   


Comments are closed.

    Archives

    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    About Intimate Partner Violence
    About Intimate Partner Violence
    Advocacy
    Ambassadors
    Children
    Churches
    College Campuses
    Cultural Issues
    Domestic Violence Awareness Month
    Financial Recovery
    How To Help A Friend
    Human Rights
    Human-rights
    Immigrants
    International
    Media
    Overcoming Past Abuse
    Overcoming-past-abuse
    Parenting
    Prevention
    Resources For Survivors
    Safe Relationships Following Abuse
    Schools
    Selfcare
    Self-care
    Sexual Assault
    Sexuality
    Social Justice
    Social-justice
    Stigma
    Supporting Survivors
    Survivor Quotes
    Survivor-quotes
    Survivor Stories
    Teen Dating Violence
    Trafficking
    Transformative-approaches

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Blog
  • See the Triumph Collections
  • Participate in Our Research
  • Volunteer with See the Triumph
  • The Origins of See the Triumph
  • About our Research
  • Terms of Use
  • Resources for more Information
  • See the Triumph Workbooks
  • See the Triumph Healing Arts Workshops
  • See the Triumph Survivor Advocacy Training Program
  • Contact Us