Relationship Challenges

For many survivors of domestic violence, entering new intimate relationships after past experiences with abusive partners gives rise to some new challenges. For example, read through the following quotes from participants in our studies:

• “I took 2 years after my divorce to start dating again. I wanted to make sure that I took time for myself to heal. Honestly though, even now, I carry a lot of this pain and hurt with me. “
• “Although I was never again in an abusive relationship, after we broke up I would find myself attracted to/going on dates with guys who would turn out to have a history of being abusive or who would show warning signs that they could turn abusive. I couldn't understand why I seemed to be attracted to these types of individuals, but I didn't trust myself not to end up in an abusive situation again so I stopped dating altogether for 4 years and just focused on having fun with my friends and graduating college.”
• “I've not even attempted to enter into another relationship as I felt it was best that I focus on raising my children, and learning to love myself. Maybe now that they are grown I may date again."
• “Subsequent romantic partners commonly attributed problems in the relationship to my abuse history. All my opinions and emotional responses were reduced to me overreacting because of my trauma history.”

What do you think survivors can do to address these challenges?