She Loves Him

Poetry by Javiette Grant, See the Triumph Guest Blogger

Battered at 17, he was her sweetest dream turned sour.
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Her family used to sit her on a throne, but a baby makes you grown so she’s all alone.

She wrote me a letter and said let me explain. She said before you judge me, feel my pain.

I’m trapped in a box of confusion, where the sky has a limit, dreams are deferred, and thoughts are diminished; but I played the cards that were dealt to me, he is the only one who stayed next to me.

She loves and she hates him.

She loves him because he allows her to be who she wants to be for free, but what is the price for pain?

She hates him because he will take her smile and sell it for less than its worth.

She hates because he found her innocence and misplaced it in a land where only weeds grow.

But she loves him, and she hates him.

And if you can’t see the correlation than you are blind because love and hate go hand in hand like hot and cold, like weddings and funerals, like graduations and baby showers,
we are growing up too soon.

But she loves him. And she hates him.

She hates him because he can look her in her eyes and lie, turn around, beat her, and watch her cry, knowing that he doesn’t deserve her but he loves her. Or does he?

She knows that she’ll forgive him in the morning and over breakfast she’ll eat her expectations, swallow her regret, and stare disappointment in the face,
Good morning.

She hates him because he is a weakness that will never really make sense.

She hates him because even when she’s sleeping he invades her mind like a bad dream that she can’t wake up from.

They probably shouldn’t be together but sometimes she wonders if a love affair could last forever.

So when you see the girl walking down the street with the faded smile, don’t judge her,
reach out and hug her,
or hold her
or give her a look that says “you are stronger than you know”
because even dandelions forget that they are beautiful.

Javiette Grant is a 23-year-old from Charlotte, NC. She graduated in 2013 from The University of North Carolina at Greensboro, where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication Studies with a minor in Sociology. She currently is pursuing her Master's degree at her alma mater in Couple and Family Counseling. 

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