That Place Where You Just Know Things

Lindy’s smile and energy were contagious! Photo source: http://www.winwinresolutions.org/support/LindysKids.php

By Christine Murray, See the Triumph Co-Founder

Recently, I had the honor of attending a Celebration of Life for Lindy Beauregard, who was a local (in Greensboro, North Carolina) champion for children who have been exposed to trauma, and especially domestic violence. Lindy’s life was very inspiring, and I wanted to share a bit of her story with you.

Lindy had a successful career on Wall Street before dedicating her life to serving others. She left that successful business career to work as an advocate for those who experienced struggles in life. Her most notable role was at the founding advocate for the Greensboro Child Response Initiative, which is an awesome resource in our community to help kids who have witnessed crime and other trauma get connected to the resources and services they need.

When Lindy was diagnosed with cancer, she faced it with such grace, dignity, and positivity that it was a complete inspiration to me, as well as so many other people she knew. Even during her struggle with cancer, she always asked about other people and wanted to see good things happening in our community for children and families who have experienced violence and trauma. As a lasting tribute to Lindy’s legacy, a program called Lindy’s Kids has been established to help make sure that these children and families have access to the resources they need.

I learned something new about Lindy at the celebration of her life that stood out to me, because it seemed so relevant to many of the survivors’ stories we heard in our research. In her moving remarks about Lindy, my friend, Kelly Graves, who is the Executive Director of the North Carolina A & T State University’s Center for Behavioral Health and Wellness, talked about how Lindy used to talk about “that place where you just know things.”

I loved that idea of “that place where you just know things,” because in my own life, I know that there have been times when I’ve been in that place, and of course there have been other times that I’ve been out of step with that place.

As I reflected more on the idea of “that place,” I thought more about how important that place is for survivors of intimate partner violence, especially about those we’ve heard from through our See the Triumph campaign and in our research. So often, we’ve heard about how survivors got disconnected from that place, both during and after the abuse they experienced. But some of the things that many survivors have told us they came to “just know” include the following:

• That there was a better life for them out there.
  
• That they did not deserve to be treated that way.
  
• That they did deserve to be treated with love and respect.
  
• That they knew that their children deserved to be in a safer environment.
  
• That they were not to blame for their abuse.
  
• That there were people out there to help them, even if some of the people they turned to were not willing or able to help.
  
  

I’ve also reflected on the difference between the place of knowing and the place of wishing. Sometimes, don’t we get into the place where we just “wish” things, even when those wishes aren’t lining up with the things we know? For example, many survivors expressed the notion that they knew their past abusive relationships were not healthy or safe, but they kept wishing and hoping that things would be different. One of the things I like so much about Lindy’s statement about “that place of knowing” is that knowing is more powerful than wishing.

It was an honor to know Lindy and to be inspired by her passion, integrity, and commitment to serving others. I hope that this message about Lindy’s idea about “that place where you just know things” can continue to inspire others to trust their intuition and follow their hearts.