By Allison Crowe, See the Triumph Co-founder
For those of you who have followed us for a while, you know that one of our main missions at See the Triumph is to overcome the stigma of intimate partner violence and create a more positive, triumphant view of survivors who leave abuse and create lives free from violence. For those of us who are newer to our community, we ask that you share this message widely, as we rely on you to be the real experts on informing us on the journey of overcoming stigma and abuse.
Today, we want to highlight findings from a study we conducted with survivors (perhaps some of you) on how you managed to overcome your abusive relationship. When we started this research, we wanted to know – what was the moment, or person, or final straw that led to you succeeding in leaving your abuser? How did it happen? Was the process gradual, and one that took many small steps to arrive at your decision, or was it an “ah-ha moment” where you had a wake-up call or tuning point (as we call it) where you turned a corner and left?
Why is it important to learn about these turning points, or moments that sparked your decision to leave? Well, the more we can highlight how this process occurred, the more others might be able to learn what this journey might look like for themselves. The more we can highlight these stories of triumph, the more we can begin to change the narrative of, “she/he will never leave” to “this is how she/he left….”
Today, we invite you to read about the Turning Points that you, our See the Triumph community, had in your own lives, that helped you decide you were done with the abuse once and for all. That it was time to overcome it forever.
We highlight these turning points below, ask you to consider what your turning point was, and also encourage you to read the full article for more details.
(a) Facing the threat of severe violence
(b) Changing your perspective about the relationship, abuse, and/or your partner
(c) Learning about the dynamics of abuse
(d) Experiencing an intervention from external sources or consequences
(e) Realizing the impact of the violence on children; and
(f) The relationship being terminated by the abuser or some other cause.
As always, we thank you for your support. We couldn’t do this without you.
Full citation: Murray, C. E., Crowe, A., & Flasch, P. (2015). Turning Points: Critical Incidents Prompting Survivors to Begin the Process of Terminating Abusive Relationships. The Family Journal, 23, 228-238. doi: 10.1177/1066480715573705